Rolled in Lettuce and Smothered With Cheese!
by Wicky the Hicky
Summary: Rated for my slight use of bad French! The Trigun crew comes to a restaurant in Inepril City where I AM HEAD CHEF! Wait...I’m the ONLY chef...And there is one item on the menu...Sausage rolled in lettuce and smothered with cheese! Will chaos ensue! And


Sausage Rolled in Lettuce and Smothered With Cheese!  
  
A Messed Up Trigun fic by Wicky the Hicky!  
  
Hello people! Wicky the Hicky here! Hmm...My first ever Trigun fic and it had to involve my favorite dish...Ok, here be the deal! The Trigun crew comes to a restaurant in Inepril City where I AM HEAD CHEF! Wait...I'm the ONLY chef...And there is one item on the menu...Sausage rolled in lettuce and smothered with cheese! Will chaos ensue?! And why are the Jack Daniels bottles talking?! FIND THE TRUTH NOW!  
  
Closed.  
  
Out of Business.  
  
Closed.  
  
Was ransacked by an evil turtle.  
  
The Trigun crew wondered around the planet Gunsmoke, looking to find sustenance for their tired, travel weary bodies...  
  
Aw, to hell with this! Ok, the peoples were tired because Wolfwood was suffering from withdraw and had the munchies every ten minutes! Then of course the priest would have twitching fits and start trying to make a cigarette from anything he could get his nicotine addicted hands on. Finally, they came across a small restaurant in Inepril that found it's self partially hidden in a deep, dark, gloomy, smelly ally way.  
  
Ok, maybe it wasn't smelly, but who's complaining?  
  
Vash and Meryl peeped inside and saw the place was completely deserted, save for the ever present Kuroneko-sama! Our favorite unpredictable black kitty who mysteriously pops up wherever Vash goes! Uh huh! They entered, slowly and silently, as if trying not to awaken the horrors hidden inside. But then, loud music poured over the hidden speakers and sent the Tri-crew through the roof. A girl clad in baggy blue jeans and a long green shirt slid across the bar using Kuroneko-sama as a guitar and singing loudly.  
  
"Gimme fuel, Gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire!  
  
Oh Turn on!  
  
I see red Adrenaline crash and crack my head!  
  
Nitro junkie, paint me dead And I see red!"  
  
The music came to a halt with that funky little squeaky sound it makes whenever music makes that random stop in the middle of the song. The girl looked at them and grinned broadly.   
  
"Welcome to the Wicky Hicky diner!"  
  
Wolfwood charged over to the red head and pounced on her shoulders.  
  
"Nicotine. Gimme my nicotine!"  
  
She screeched then began laughing madly. She lay on her stomach and began twitching random parts of her body. Wolfwood jumped up and ran back over to his friends. The girl slowly raised up and pushed her red hair back over her shoulder before handing Vash four menus.   
  
"Please have a seat in some random booth and I'll find you later to take your order!"  
  
"What about are drinks?" Milly asked, her gentle face totally clueless.  
  
The red head ran behind the counter and came back with four large bottles of Jack Daniels. Meryl looked at Milly nervously who had already began to gulp down the Jackie D. The red head's eye twitched.  
  
"Erm, isn't that a little...Fast?" She asked, but simply shrugged it off.  
  
"My name is Dakota! And I'll be your waitress and chef!"  
  
Wolfwood handed her the menu back with an angry look. Dakota smiled again and threw the menu over her shoulder.  
  
"Are you ready to order?!" She asked, jumping in place.   
  
Wolfwood's left eyeball twitched rapidly.   
  
"There is only sausage rolled in lettuce and smothered with cheese in the whole menu! What kind of business are you running here?!" Dakota laughed and held up a finger.  
  
"One that serves the only dish that i am capable of cooking with my terrible culinary skills. I killed the head chef with my baked ham, so I had to run the business by my self!" Suddenly, the empty Jackie D bottle in Milly's hand sprung from her grasp and landed on the counter.  
  
"YOU HAVE DRAINED MY OF MY ALCOHOLIC CONTENT! YOU MUST PAY THE CONSEQUENCES!"   
  
Then, a random army of Jack Daniels bottle riding on giant dust bunnies appeared from the ceiling.  
  
And I'm going to end it here because I have no clue what to write and I think I might have burnt my Velveeta cheese in the microwave! I finally went to the mini mart down the street and bought my own cheese! I paid four friggin' dollars for cheese! Oh well, click that little review button hicky do dad and I'll update! 


End file.
